When it comes to guys, there’s always that term: The Man’s Man. And a big part of that term is how a particular man can be so confident and sure of himself. Do take note, he may not necessarily be super-successful, or have beautiful women in his arms. But the point there is, he’s confident enough that he could have both of those things, but that it’s not a big issue. Yes, people, he’s that confident.
Boosting Your Self Confidence
Realistically speaking, can anyone be that confident in real life? The answer is a resounding “yes.” And you can be a Man’s Man, too. Here are some guideposts to show you the way:
How You See Yourself
The very first step here is to be brutally honest with yourself. You have to know where you stand, not only in relation to how you see yourself, but also how others see you.
Take stock of what you’ve done with your life so far. Be honest about your achievements. Have they made you really happy? Are they the best you could have done? Or were you simply coasting along, or just avoiding all the work? What’s important here is to admit to yourself what you’ve done right, and what needs more work. Once you address that, you can move on.
It’s the same thing with looking at how others see you. You have to be honest about how your interactions are with people, and it wouldn’t hurt to get observations from friends you trust. Even if it means you’re going to get some harsh words, what you need to know is the truth.
Knowing What Your Goals Are
Let’s say that you’ve gotten over all the bruised feelings of learning all your shortcomings. Don’t dwell on that alone! Look at what you’ve succeeded in, and observe what you did right in those situations. That’s where you can start with your goals. They don’t have to be spectacular ones, but at least you should have something that you can strive for.
Don’t be scared to think big. There is nothing wrong with that, since you’re going for the gold anyway. And besides, it’s your life – you have every right to pursue your own agenda.
Organizing Your Goals
If you’ve come up with your own life goals, chances are, you may be feeling a little overwhelmed. There could be too many goals on too many fronts, or, perhaps your big goals just feel too big, and you don’t know where to start.
The solution here is to do one of two things (or ideally both if you can)…
1) Break the big goals down into smaller steps – If your goal, say, is to be a millionaire before you hit thirty, and you’re already 25, you might be panicking a bit right now. However, what you can do is start by managing the smaller steps. For example, you could start by cutting down on spending and by smartly managing your utilities. That’s easy enough, and a little savings hurt no one. After that, perhaps you can do research into investments and the stock market, and then find out what you’re willing to risk. It may even be as simple as moving into a smaller place that you can afford with more savings in the bank. It all starts with the idea of “what are the small things that I can do first?”
2) Choose the goals that are more immediate – Now, between lowering your spending for luxuries and finding a smaller apartment, which one is easier to do? Most people would consider lowering their lifestyle levels first. And that’s the same idea as choosing more immediate goals first. If you want that million, you should start by figuring out how to put your first $25 in.
The Right Kind of Humility
Now, the thing about self-confidence, it’s that you should know your own worth, and at the same time, not over inflate it. For some people, they try to downplay their strengths, thinking that it’s wrong to show off. Well, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. That’s not self-depreciation, that’s simply having no confidence.
You should be honest with others about what you can or cannot do, and be straightforward about it. That’s where the first glimmers of confidence starts, by knowing what you can offer the other person, and knowing that you can deliver it, because you’ve done it before.
A Dash of Pride
Now, let’s be the first to say it: there is nothing wrong in being proud, even if just a little bit. You don’t have to crow about your achievements, but neither should you deny them. Let’s say that you’re well known for being the best in basketball in your office; why shouldn’t you thank people who praise you for it? Don’t brag, but do thank them. Take it as a matter of fact, and that people are recognizing you for it.
Just remember, don’t let it get to your head – that’s where the balance between humility and pride interact to give your self-confidence the right amount of “presentation,” as it were.
Self-Confidence is Acceptance and Recognition
Acceptance and Recognition are at the core of how to increase your confidence in yourself. That’s what it is all about. The moment you can accept who you are, and how you can move forward from that point, that’s when your confidence will start going up. And when it does, all you have to do is nurture it, and work hard for it – pretty soon, you’ll be able to handle yourself without being awkward.